Ways on how to be successful in life

I would say I am a successful man. Throughout my years I have definitely learned that there are several ways on how to be successful in life, so I am going to take my wide-ranged experience and drop that onto you. However you choose to receive it, well, that’s up to you!

It’s no secret that focus and determination are being swapped out for clicks on Facebook and shares on Twitter. In 2022 we’ve undergone a radical 20 year transformation from getting stuff done through hard work and grit to sitting back in our chairs and letting our computers / phones do all the work for us. I had to laugh the other day when I saw a young man pay for his coffee with his card imprint on his phone. The security implications for this boggled my mind — but nevertheless, the deeper we get into the modern world the less we are inclined to understand it, and just let everything take over, throwing caution to the wind.

Men from my day were tough, and hard, and could break bricks with their teeth; they were used to hard work and pain and the determination it took for them to reach their goals. Of course society wasn’t perfect, we still had our flaws, and I’d still rather live in the world of today with all the social advancements we’ve made and the advantages we have. It seems as we’ve made great strides to make life easier for everyone, we’ve also lost our way a little. Problems that were non-existent thirty years ago are now commonplace today, like obesity for example.

We’ve become used to letting other things do the work for us that we had to do ourselves in the past. Of course that’s not a bad thing per se, however we are losing really important skills along the way. The ability to communicate effectively being one of the most important factors. Why struggle with an uncomfortable situation face to face when you can essentially unfriend them from Facebook and that alone sends a clear signal. Then of course no-one is listening at all. We’ve had a generation of people that have been raised to “share their thoughts” — but haven’t been taught at all to “listen to what other people are saying.” Sometimes people just want to feel listened to you know?

That being said, enough of my old Dad whining and on with the show. It’s really a good thing the world is a mess, and I’ll tell you why. You can develop skills that very few possess (because of what I said earlier) and by utilising them you can rise to the top and be liked and loved by everyone in the process. Ways on how to be successful in life, here’s how:

Nice guys always finish first

You have more than likely heard the phrase, “Nice guys always finish last” — it’s basically a play on the men that say things like, “why does she go and date assholes when I’m so nice?” – but in reality, it’s not that way underneath the surface at all. These guys are clingy, needy, have nothing going for them, and will sit around all day waiting for their woman to call. It’s not what women want.

Here is the turnaround though,

You don’t have to be mean and horrible to get what you want. You can be a nice friendly person too and STILL get what you want.

As a young man when I was going through this transition I learned that I could get all what I desired and be a decent person too. All I needed to know was to learn when to say no and stand my ground. That’s it. When people are being argumentative or trying to engage you in conflict, there’s nothing that stipulates that you have to stay there. One of the most powerful ways of taking back control, and diffusing a tense situation is just getting up and walking away from it entirely.

There’s nothing wrong with being a likable guy, plus being someone likable opens many doors for you that would previously be closed if people didn’t like you at all.

One of the biggest business deals I’ve ever done was because I was on friendly terms with people that had big networks and said, “Oh yeah, Ray, yeah, he’s a stand up guy” – and thus propelled us into heights I couldn’t imagine even five years ago.

Being nice is underrated in my honest opinion, and is definitely one of the ways on how to be successful in life.

Learn that you have to give to receive. It’s all about mindset.

Life is about 80% what you offer the world and 20% what you receive back. If all you do is moan and complain about how shit the world is and do nothing but take what you can — then absolutely expect the world to 100% take from you too, be that mentally, financially or socially, or hell, all three. I learned this around about when I was in my early thirties. Up until then I had always taken what I had been given and was never appreciative of what I had.

It all changed when I found the true value of just giving for the want of giving. It feels nice to help people with their needs and wants, and can reward you on so many levels. The more you give out, the more the world will reward you for that.

Okay, so I’m not saying give people stuff for free and be happy about it like some Biblical statement, no, but what I am saying is that you should definitely help out when you can. If it’s your time, your money, or just hanging around when someone needs you to be there for them. Life will reward you immensely. Not everyone will want to take part of course, a lot will just take from you and never stop. Some people will even think of you as a free-store, but there will be one or two people in between that you will meet and they will add to your life in ways you cannot comprehend.

That being said you will need to have good boundaries so that people aren’t able to take advantage of you all the time. Knowing when to cut off the supply is a great start, and to say no. Your time, money and resources are the most valuable things you will ever have — use them wisely.

There are many ways on how to be successful in life, but definitely make sure you have really strict boundaries.

Contrary to popular belief, say YES, and say it lots.

Most of the people that I have met in life love saying no. Mostly no they can’t do this, or that they can’t possibly do that because it’s impossible. I’m more of a guy that will say, let’s meet and we’ll discuss how we get around it, and then we’ll put it to the test. I love the phrase by Alexander The Great:

Nothing is impossible to him who will try

Of course we’re talking real life stuff there. So if someone came to me and asked if I could help them bend space and time then that’s one thing I’d probably have to say no to. But try saying yes to more people and being more adventurous about the things you get involved in. You never know where the life path will take you. People will also come to you more because they want to find solutions, not dead ends.

One of the ways on how to be successful in life is to be open to as many opportunities as you can

Be disciplined and go without – ways on how to be successful in life

Leading out from what I said in my last piece about learning to make sacrifices, you should most definitely learn to be disciplined in all that you do. Nothing in this life that is easy to do will ever end up good for you in the end. All the stuff that is worth it takes bitterly hard work and hardcore effort to get there. In the end it’s worth it though. Really worth it.

What do I mean by disciplined? Well, you should most definitely learn to go without things that feel nice, look nice, and are nice if you are working towards goals. Right now I’m being distracted by my friends on discord but I am giving them 5% of my time because I am writing this.

One of the biggest ways on how to be successful in life is to learn to be highly disciplined in everything you do.

In short discipline is something that you learn over time. Discipline would be like getting up and working at home and avoiding the fun chat apps because you want to get the project done in time for your latest clients.

Don’t worry if you’re not. It takes time and lots of experience to be disciplined. Just, when you want to pick up that cake and put your feet up instead of working — you should probably just continue working and resist the temptation.

Less talking, more doing

I’ve always said in life that if you ever want to evaluate anyone, watch what they are doing and not what they are saying. People can tell you all sorts of rubbish by talking to you, but it’s much much harder to hide what they are doing. An honest person’s actions will match what they say and vice versa. A dishonest person will say one thing and do another.

You should use that to your advantage. Talk less, and move more. Not that I’m saying that you should not communicate at all, but if you say to people that you are going to do something then you should get up and do whatever it was that you said you were going to do. People will respect that more, and they will come to you when they need things done and they will pay you for it because you “do” what they need.

And lastly with ways on how to be successful in life, LISTEN god damnit.

Most people in 2022 just want to be listened to. We have a gang of youngsters that have grown up on apps that encourage them to “share their thoughts” with the world, but very few have been encouraged to listen to others. What we have now is a world full of people trying to talk, but no-one is there to listen.

Okay, so it’s not as extreme as that but when I was younger there were a lot more listeners than there are today. You may think that you listen but there’s a high chance that you probably don’t. Most people listen to respond, rather than listen to take it all in.

Listening is a powerful tool in your arsenal. It’s how when done rightly you can access the needs of whoever it is you’re working with, or a dating potential.

Most people listen to respond. In a made up situation, worker 1 might say, “Oh, I am hungry, I might go for lunch in ten minutes, but I have so much work to do, I am going to fall behind.” Whereas worker 2 might say, “Damn, well, I hope you finish in time” – this is a classic case of listening to respond. There’s nothing wrong with this but if you would like to level up your game then begin to think deeper.

Imagine if worker 1 says, “Oh, I am hungry, I might go for lunch in ten minutes, but I have so much work to do, I am going to fall behind.” Whereas worker 2, instead, this time he says, “Well, I’m just about to go out now. What about if I bring you back some lunch to have at your desk so you can keep working?” – this is an example of active listening. You assessed the needs of worker 1, and acted upon what he was saying.

Imagine yourself in scenario 1 and ask yourself how it makes you feel as worker 1? Then do the same in scenario 2. I definitely think more of worker 2 in the second scenario.

We could even take this further in what we’ve learned today. Because you helped worker 1 and he was able to finish on time (unknown to you it was a billion dollar report), he then invites you onto his yacht party this weekend. To which you say YES to. At the party you stay sober and meet several interesting people that deepened your business contacts ten fold, and from there you begin to develop amazing give and take business relationships with several exciting people.

See what I did there? Yeah, I mean you could say that I was living in fantasy land, but it always starts and ends with mindset.

Is your mindset a prison? Or is it a paradise?

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